Sunday, August 15, 2010

So my best friend gave me a blogger award to help stimulate my blogging. So hopefully it worked. Part of the rules are to say 7 things you may or may not know about me so here it goes.

The 7 things
1. I am very family and friends oriented. Next to God my family and friends are the most important things in my life. They have always been there for me and I have absolutely no idea where I would be without them. They are my rock and help me through pretty much every step of my life.

2. I used to dance. I was on my drill team for two and a half years. I had some great times of my life on that team.

3. I attend Stephen F. Austin State University. I am majoring in Speech Pathology. This is my second year in college and I am a junior.

4. I am a klutz. I have injured myself many times. I even have a scar on my chest from when I burnt myself with cheese pizza.

5. I have had to deal for many years of my own personal battle of living up to my sister. Growing up she was everything I wanted to be, and I wanted her life so much. That is probably why we fought so much when we were younger. But as I got older I learned that I am not her, and even though it is not wrong to look up to her, I will never be her and never will have her exact life. So now it is that I have to learn how to look up to her without trying to be her.

6. While I have dated before, I have never actually had an official boyfriend. But at the end of the day I am waiting for the right guy. I have standards and while some may say that they are too high, I see it as I know what I want and I am not willing to give up on that.

7. Even though I have amazing friends I still get lonely. I am used to spending time by myself but I crave to be around people, and without that I end up lonely and wishing I were with my friends. And even though I am waiting for the right guy, I can't wait to find the guy who will stand by my side. I can't wait to have a guy love me for all my qualities and inequalities.

So I had a long conversation with one of my best friends today Chipmunk. We talked about our relationship, where we've been and where we are now. We had an interesting relationship for awhile. She was in a not so great relationship and always would call me for advice, counseling, and someone to talk to her when she was crying. I never held this against her. For me being there for someone is not what a good person does, it is what a friend does, and better yet it is what a best friend does. While we did have our disagreements during that time of her not always investing a lot in our relationship, we stuck through it.

Through this relationship I have learned to not be afraid to tell people how I feel. I remember a time when I felt like she was not investing time into our relationship, that I sat in the bathroom of my high school telling her over the phone that she needed to tell me things again and invest time into our relationship. After that things changed and were back to normal with us. Most people say that you don't stay close to your friends from high school, but she is two years older than me and we have been through so much that I don't think it is possible for us not to be friends. My life wouldn't be the same without her.

While I have never thought twice about helping my friends and being there for them , I think that I have come to loose myself in that. I am a people pleaser. I live to make them happy. That is definitely not one of my better qualities. Because I always want other people to be ok, I tend to find myself not to ask people to help me when I am down and tend to deal with it on myself. This is funny to me because I would do anything to help my best friends and I know they would do anything to help me. So why do I have to be so stubborn and strong to deal with my own problems. I find this even more funny because in my best friends blog she also admitted to feeling bad about calling me when she needed something.

I can't do anything on my own. I have to have help. So apparently both her and I need to stop feeling bad about asking for help and just do it. Because I know that if I don't it will be a lonely and hard life. I give and give and give but at some point I have to open up and take. And if I don't do this how can I expect for one day when I am married for me to accept my husbands help. So it is something that both my best friend and I will work on together.