Monday, April 12, 2010

There is still hope girls that there are good guys out ther

I was talking to one of my best friends today and we got on the subject of guys, what we look for in them, and if there are any still out there who are what we are looking for. As I was feeling discouraged she told me about this guy that she is dating who is exactly what we both have been looking for. Giving me a glimmer of hope. She told me about a blog she wrote and I would like to share it with all of you.

As women we get discouraged frequently the more time we spend with the male gender. They never seem to meet expectations. Shoot forget expectations, how about socially polite minimums? Any woman in the dating sphere would agree with me on that. Even if he doesn't seem that way you tell yourself, give him a week or two- bet he won't be so sweet then. And normally you are right. He quits saying sweet things or doing what you like and he becomes just like every other guy. Distant. Harsh. Unemotional. Insensitive. Uncaring. I understand that we all set ourselves up with too high of expectations between our upbringing of Disney princesses who not only find prince charming, but he sings to you, then as we age we surround ourselves with romantic comedies that portray men not as they are, but as women wish they would be (with the exception of a select few movies like The Ugly Truth). Most women at this point are so frustrated between their perfect idea of romance and what men offer these days. So I thought I would offer some encouragement to those whoever might be reading. There is hope. There may and probably aren't many and patience is actually more important than searching but it's there. There are a few good men out there who still believe in chivalry. Who believe faith in God is the most attractive quality. Who will sit and discuss a Godly future without cringing. Who not only open the door that they themselves must also enter through but who open both your car door AND pull out your seat when you sit to eat. Who pray before they eat. Who likes the same things you like to do and doesn't expect some sort of compliance or agreement to go do something manly. Who will go to church with you. Who's not afraid to meet your family. Who's not ashamed for you to meet his. Who likes to make plans for more things to do together. Who plans out the sweetest way to have that first kiss. Who holds you and keeps you feeling like the world is a happy place. Who's proud to say he is waiting for his wife. Who dreams like you of being the too adorable couple that others can't stand. Who talks about the kind of father he wants to be. Who uses God as a reference for all his speech. Who can sit and stare into your eyes and make you feel beautiful without words. Who thinks your flaws are adorable and part of your charm. And best of all, who allows you to be not the you that you were and have been but the you you always wished you could be. The best version of yourself. Sound like a fairy tale? Maybe so. But it's still out there. And if it's not, then some men must be excellent actors.

She was also telling me about these CD's she is listening to about how a guy should define the relationship by the 4th date, how he should date her and no one else, how after 3 or 4 months of dating he should have another define the relationship again and tell her that she may not be the one but he would like to date her more seriously because he would like to find out if she is, at this point he should court her, and after months of that if he feel like she is the one and it is God's will for him to marry her then he should ask her father's permission for her hand in marriage and purpose to her. There should be a short engagement so temptation does not get in the way. He should also live daily in the word and live his live according to it. Because if he is expected to be the spiritual leader of the household and she is to submit to him, then she should know what he lives his life for and see it in how he lives his life. It is so refreshing to me to know that there are still guys out there who believe this and live by this. But in the end we have to be patient and give it up to the Lord. For me if the Lord is not going to be in every aspect of a relationship then I don't want to be in that relationship. God has to be and is my #1 at all times, and I have to know who I am in him and have a strong relationship with him before I can ever be in a relationship with someone else. And when I do get into a relationship it will be in God's perfect time, because it will not be me controlling my life or the situation it will be all God. So girls there is still hope out there, but keep your eyes solely on the Lord because he will bring you happiness in Him.